Psychology - How My Brain Works? - Personal Essay

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4) MY USUAL STRESSORS AND HOW I REACT TO THESE CHANGES AND CHALLENGES IN ENVIRONMENT

What are my usual stressors? To be honest, I don’t know. All I know is that, sometimes, everything is stressing me out, even the smallest things. I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself. The worst kind of pain is when you feel everything at once while also feeling nothing at all. I hate feeling so embarrassed and anxious all the time. For example is when the prof asks a question and I know the right answer but I’m afraid that my answer will be judged by my classmates so I wouldn’t raise my hand. Another thing is when I’m always preparing what to say because I’m terrified I might get tongue-tied in front of so many people. When I’m upset, I shut myself down. Telling myself that nobody cares even though I know some people do. Every single time our family encounter a big problem, I always feel like giving up. Awake at 3am, sobbing to myself, debating whether or not to take my own life. But then, that is not the answer and it will never be the answer. And when you have too much problem on your plate, you can finally say “I’m used to it.” Sad, isn’t it? So now, I learn to just ignore the problem and keep on living because it’s the only thing that can heal the pain. I made myself distracted by doing productive things such as writing poems and stories, listening to music, reading books. I allow myself to explore new things and focus on good things. Lastly, I never forget to be grateful in everything that I have.

5) MOTIVATION TO CARRY ON DESPITE LIFE’S HARDSHIP

Life these days has become so hectic that it’s very easy for us to get caught in just trying to survive each day. Everyone struggles to live and everyone have their own reason why they still get up in the morning. And what keeps me going on life is my family, especially my parents. Ever since I was a kid, my goal in life was to make them proud and happy. They are my main motivation to stride for success. For me, success is telling your parents not to worry about anything and that I got everything they needed. They are working so hard just to provide everything for me and for my brothers. Whenever I feel vulnerable, they always tell me that everything will fall back into the right places and that I can get through anything. Sometimes I feel like giving up because of so many obstacles that I encounter every single day but then I think about my parents, who give me all the things I have right now. There are days where I have so much homework to do and I don’t want to do it but I need to study hard so I will be able to repay my parents for everything they’ve done for us. I owe my parents all of this and one day, I’m going to give everything they deserve. They gave me all their love, I can’t let them down.