Adhd - Personal Essay

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of refused treatment. But its okay. I’ve lived with it this long why can’t I now. I hear suicide stories of good people, that deserved a good life, but lost because of bullying. And I’m sitting here making bad decisions and pissing people off. Their life was stolen, and I get to live a life I don’t deserve. I don’t understand how life works. Its like, lets go to school to learn. Learns nothing. Have fun with life. I have to take care of my life. I have to pay band fees. I have to get a job. I have to fix my car. I have so much shit. I can’t fix any of my problems. Cant get shit together. I get yelled about it. I get yelled almost about everything. I used to like this girl I was really good friends with, and someone today told me "you remind me of the guy that so-and-so liked a while back." So like, literally me, isn’t good enough. I’m used by people, and yelled at. I’ve tried making new friends and leaving my group of friends, but it doesn’t work like that. Its failed every time. I got emotionally attached to people. They cross me, and I just take it. Cause I’m already lonely most of the time. I don’t know how I made it this far. I’ve heard things like I ruined their years. I gave them the anxiety they have day in day out. People have told me if they lived my life, they would’ve killed themselves. But its been like this for years. The yelling, the torture. Its okay though, its just Jacob, he should be used to it. Hes an ass. Ugh, I really wish that all would be right for one moment. I’m sorry. I needed to rant, I’m not doing anything. Worst I do is cut or smoke. I doubt either though. I don’t have the will to do it.