Maritial Satisfaction

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The concern to express as a marriage counselor would be that intimacy issues and emotions about it should be expressed between the couple. They should also be able to enjoy times when they are not able to entertain by sex. They must have a pleasurable relationship, which involves their friendship and their commitment towards each other. Many marriage fail when spouses have an affair due to watching pornographic movies and wanting to experiment. It is important to have open communication in marriage so that each partner knows each other’s sexual desires.

Love needs to be the foundation of the marriage within the couple and the couple needs to really enjoy each other. When couples engage themelves in intimate relations it should be done in a beautiful and loving way. Intimate relationships end because of conflict in many cases. Couples have to be careful and protective over their marriage and not letting their unmet desires take over. People often take one another for granted and get trapped up in situations of life that causes their intimacy to be complex and less fulfilling. Intimacy in a marriage is just as important part of commitment as finances, because couples can forget the commitment fast and forget about the bond that is a part of marriage. Commitment is there to remind couples to work through their relationship and accept the changes that will occur during the time of marriage (Robinson and Blanton, 2001). “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her; and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” 1 Cor. 7:3-5 (NKJV). Scripture is important when it comes to marriages. The bible states that when you become committed to one another you are not longer two, you are considered one.

Personality and Communication Issues

Personality issues can be another major issue when it comes to marriages. Hostile violence in marriages can really come to play in marriages that have personality issues. People need to be able to get along with each other when they are married. When it comes to different personalities it is important to stress the importance of communication.

Communication is very important when it comes to working things out. People communicate with each other to meet their needs. Communication is very important in marriages because it allows each other to work on things that they cannot get a clear understanding on. When counseling couples to improving on their communication it is important to understand the basic principles for training the couple to communicate with each other. The counselor should help both partners know the objective of training. Before trying to get the couple to improve communication, it is necessary for the couple to understand that they need to change their habit patterns of communication. It is important as the counselor to emphasize that the patterns of communication are habits, which started in the beginning of the relationship. Another good method for counselors to use to improve the couple’s communication is to help them increase the way they value each other. In healthy marriages, couples value each other in several ways (Worthington, 2005).

It was resulted that personality pathology was closely related to marital functioning. This is so because each person reported their personality disorder symptoms which demonstrated their violence along with their aggression verbally. A study also showed that there was a lot of violence in many couples with personality disorders. Therefore, studies show that personality disorders can and do play a major role in the marriages with those who suffer from personality issues (South, 2008).

People’s personalities can affect their relationships even more than the relationship can affect them. Many people are born with personalities that have them marry later in life, and these tendencies aren’t really affected by experiences they encounter. However, our personalities can be shaped by our relationships (Miller, 2009).

Self Esteem

Many people are victimized by abusive relationships and in no fault of their own and it often results in low self- esteem. “People with low self-regard find it hard to believe that they are well and truly lobed by their partners and, as a result, they tend not be optimistic that their loves will last. This leads them to overreact to their partner’s occasional bad moods; they feel more rejected, experience more hurt, and get more angry than do those with higher self- esteem. And these painful feelings make it harder for them to behave constructively in response to their imagined peril. Whereas people with high self- regard draw closer to their partners and seek to repair the relationship when frustration arise, people with low self- esteem defensively distance themselves, stay surly, and behave badly (Worthington, 2009 p.31).

The way you feel about yourself is important to the way you allow people to view yourself. In relationships, it is important for both partners to be comfortable with who they are in order to have their own individual role in the relationship.

Conflict Resolution

Many couples go to counseling for conflict resolution. They are having a hard time resolving the issue on their own and they need outside help to get the problem solved. There are important interventions to use when resolving conflict. Many couples devalue each other when they are in conflict. It is important for couples to not devalue each other during those times as well as all the other times. Counselors often use methods preventing using triggers that the partner knows will cause conflict amongst each other.

According to some research, couples can be trained to turn conflict around by allowing themselves to forgive each other. Identifying the importance of having a personality differences and being able to understand and tolerate of each other’s desires as well. A study has shown that if couples could only practice using forgiveness frequently it could be a start of restoration and healing of damaging marriages (Diblastio and Brenda, (2008).

According to Biblastio & Brenda, understanding and forgiveness differ but could have the same affect on promoting healthy marriage satisfaction in a marriage. Forgiveness offers a method of healing, repentance, mutual empathy, rebuilding of trust, and a higher level of commitment between marital couples and that is what couples need in order to begin the road to a success marriage according to the authors mentioned above. Also, “clinical experience and