Final Profolio

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After discussing three assignments that we completed, I want to talk about another writing skill that I have learned. For example, you pay more attention on peer reviewing, which confused me at first, because I think I cannot be critical to review others papers. I’m not perfect so I am afraid to correct their mistakes. I still remembered that when we did workshops on our second drafts. Yuki listed some mistakes including grammars and gave me lots of advice. For example, he advised me to add some details. He suggest that I describe the types of planes when I wrote, “ there were almost twenty air planes modes in his drawer” so I listed various kinds of planes after this sentences when I go back home. Finally, I found that in peer review, I can learn other advantages from my classmates and correct some of the mistakes not only appear in their essays but also in mine.

I found my weakness after rewriting my old drafts. At first I liked to summarize and my arguments usually were very vague. For example, on my A1D2, I wrote, “ he worded very hard with some women in the factory”. This sentence was too simple and it was hard to picture the character. However, I rewrite this sentences “ all he need to do is sitting in front of a sewing machine and manufacture some black cotton sweaters with some fat, middle-aged women” You can see that, consequently, I am able to use detailed description to write characters and backgrounds. These details can help readers picture characters, which is important in writing. I recognized that every small things matter in a story. Characters dressing styles can show their personal habits and situations. Small actions can reflect their emotion changes.

I paid no attention on the Tile but after the first conference I knew that titles are one of the most significant parts of a paper because readers can directly get their first impression from a title. However, I primarily used “ A1d1” or “Letter to a hater” as titles. At first I thought that it didn’t matter because these were just homework, not formal creations. After the first conference, I noticed that a title is important to a paper, just like a spirit of a whole essay. I used “ A Flying Dream” and “ A Positive Turn” as my first two essays’ titles. The first one was a story, so I tried to make it related to the content. I think it was better for readers to know what was the story was about. Since A2 was a letter to a hater, so I wrote the title in an abstract way but it still meant that I wound convince the hater like doing a “positive turn”. Although that is a little predictable, I was trying my best to attract readers. I think I can make it better in learning WR39B. This was a second part that I thought was important.

However, I also had another weakness. For example, I should learn more about how to organize my paper. In my letter, I used to point out a main argument at the beginning of each paragraph. I knew that should be fine, but I still wanted to improve my structure. I could not write a long paper so I needed to write more logically. That was why I think I should keep studying in WR39B. Of course, I am ready for it. I think I can get a B on my portfolio because I work diligently. I kept revising my papers and try to make them perfect. I followed your recommendations and try my best to finish my homework. I did research before classes in order to discuss better in class. However, I forgot to do some discussions on Canvas, which I think should lower my grade. I have strengths and weaknesses but I am already prepared to move on to 39B and I think I can be a greater writer.

Sincerely

Wenjie Song

Professor Bliss

Writing 39A

Wenjie Song

April 17.2015

A Flying Dream

Early in the morning, an old couple carried some agricultural implements slogged their way in the muddy road to the farm. The moon was still in the sky covered the countryside silvering the rice. Rice was the only crop they grew in this flat countryside. Zhang was born in this small village in Jiaxing. He was very short with thin hair, small mouth and little eyes, a traditional Chinese kid. He was the only child in his family who could get whatever he wanted as long as he was in tears from his parents. Toys, snacks, pocket money, they will tried their best to satisfy him although they were not wealthy. In fact, they were really poor.

The landscape was grey and stark here, but it was very remote. Zhang’s parents were both farmers who eked out a bare living by farming. After eating some sloppy porridge, they held of each other and walked slowly to the farm. Zhang was a sensible and clever boy when he was a child. He tended to help his parent gather fruits, do some cleaning and sweep the floor. His father always bought some toys for him as rewards.

“ Can you buy me a airplane please!” he said, staring at his father, a gleam of expectation into his eyes.

“ Of course.” His father said with a big smile.

Zhang held an airplane and waved his arms. He liked pretending to be a pilot flying in the sky because he wanted to know how a person felt when clouds surrounded him in a very silence environment. He would even put his favorite airplane next to the pillow when he went to the bed. Actually, Zhang would ask for an airplane whenever he could get rewards from his father. There were almost twenty airplanes modes in his drawer including battle planes, business jets, seaplanes, and sport planes.

Zhang seemed quiet on his face and he became aloof and silent after he went to high school. Jiaxing No.1 high school is one of the best high school in Jiaxing. It was notable because it maintained a high rate of proportion of student who was able to go to a great college. Most of his classmates have never seen how hard for farmers to labour the farmland but they always threw away rice without thinking. Robert swanked around in his blue suits showing off his expensive golden watch.

“My own driver will drive me to the school ” he said.

He laughed at Zhang’s dressing style, his poor background and even his favorite airplane. “ Go back home and grow rice, farmer” he said with an arrogance in his voice.

However, Zhang just bowed his head, rumbled out a few words, which was too low to hear playing his own airplane. In his second year, he sat at the back of the classroom. He wanted to tell them about his