Power of Communications - Terrorist and Gingerbread

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if she and Kristi should be concerned and whether or not it was hereditary, but after her mother responds that it was the consequence of “years of hard living” she withholds responding, this ques her mother to speak more about why she left her. The silence is an example of Chronemics Because the gaps between the last spoken word and next tell us about the situation. Bonnie further maintains her power by not responding, and her mother is then made to respond. Furthermore, her lack of response to her mother amplifies the tension, the viewer, or observer would feel anxious almost at the edge of their seat for a response. Finally, the and the most prominent use of a long pause was during the “reveal” or when Bonnie’s mother let her know that the reason she never got around to picking her up from foster care was that she met a man who did not allow kids. Bonnie takes her time to take it all in because it was a hard message to take in. What Bonnie says next emphasizes more power speech, her response is direct, clear, concise, and comes with a small pause linking her power speech with Chronemics. He response essentially makes it clear that what her mother has done is unforgivable, and that she cannot see how amends could be possible ending the interaction.

The final nonverbal communication trait is proxemics, although the scene distance is stagnant there is a lot to be said about both the physical distance and emotional distance created. Throughout the entire conversation, Bonnie stays quite distanced from her mother, sitting as far as possible during their sit down and not moving towards her mother to greet her upon entry into the cafe. Also, her body language shows that she maintains emotional distance from her, perhaps a sign that she is deeply troubled by her mother’s presence and she is not going to forgive her easily. Although only a couple feet separate Bonnie and her mother, bonnies refusal to face her mother increases the proxemics, making a shorter distance seem even longer. After making slight eye contact with her mom and speaking, Bonnie immediately turns away showing her aversion for both looking and facing her mother. Either conscious or subconscious Bonnie’s feelings extend throughout both her actions and speech, letting her mother clearly know that she is not interested in reconciliation. Her mother, on the other hand, displays strong feelings of remorse and a willingness to mend their relationship. When speaking Bonnie’s mom is leaning in with her hands pursed as if taking in everything Bonnie has to say to heart. Her display also emphasizes her genuine feelings of remorse that users of powerless speech have. Her eagerness to get closer to Bonnie is not only physical but extends emotionally as well.

The power dynamic is further built upon and emphasized during the interaction Bonnie has with her mother inside the coffee shop. Where Bonnie carries most if not all power, and her mother is trying to gain favor. Given the context of their relationship and their attitudes I venture to argue that the power dynamics was established even before their initial meet up. The choice was ultimately up to Bonnie at all times whether or not she wanted to meet up with her estranged mother. Even after they met in person, Bonnie had no obligation to stay and could have left at any time leaving her mother without the closure she so badly desired. Bonnie’s direct speech contrasts her mom’s inarticulate and hesitant words, further answering the question of “who holds power?”. People use euphemisms in situations of low power to spin their points in a positive light. Their hope is gain likeability or forgiveness. The mother’s use of euphemisms highlight the lengths she goes to appease Bonnie and her attempt to settle Bonnie’s anger towards her. Nonverbal elements also further develop the relationship between Bonnie and her mother. During all long pauses, it is Bonnie who is expected to reply after her mother speaks, however, after a duration and no response, her mother responds with more. We can see examples of this in almost all everyday life when there is someone a person may have strong feelings for; it is nearly impossible to ignore that person, and there is a powerful need to fill the gaps in conversation they leave. Furthermore, Bonnie maintained distance from her mother is very clear body language that she does not want to be here, and it also shows little emotional investment.

Verbal and Nonverbal communication elements are present in any interaction if we observe well enough we can decipher otherwise surface level conversations. Even when the emotion and intensity of a conversation are evident, we often do not always know why it is so clear to us. Through the study of nonverbal and verbal communication we are now able to not only perceive a deeper conversation than just the words spoken, but we are also able to understand better why we feel certain ways during interactions.

References

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication: An introduction (3rd ed.). Boston, MA: Bedford/St.Martin’s

Mullin, D. (2016, October 10). Verbal communication (language). Class lecture for Communication 1, Department of Communication, University of California, Santa Barbara.

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