Indian Horse How Did Hockey Contribute to Sauls Life?

...

Although hockey brought many great things to Saul's life, it also brought some horrible things like his abuse, which turned into anger within Saul which eventually cause him to have to lose his identity. I believe that it would be less likely for Saul to be sexual abuse if he didn’t play hockey. I think that because he would have not known father Leboutilier because he wouldn’t have played on his hockey team. Saul had to persevere through sexual and emotional abuse “ ‘You’re a glory, Saul.’... The words he used on the back of the barn when he slippped down my trousers down...When I found myself liking it I felt dirty, repulsive, sick. ” This is an example of sexual and emotional abuse that Saul carries with him for years to come. Saul gets discriminated by everyone because he is a Native. Eventually he unleashes his anger with fist fights and conflict amongst his teammates. “Finally, it changed the for me. If they wanted me to be a savage that’s what I would give them.” (pg. 164) I think this quotes represents Saul giving up, letting his anger within get the best of him. His anger started to affected everyone. This anger led him back to the Manitouwadge, in hopes of his it disappearing. But the anger seem to be following him everywhere, especially with his co-workers. For an example when he got a job where his co-workers were bothered because they couldn’t make him burst, this resulted in fights. When the fights start to bother Saul, he took the chance to fight back. “I was frigid blackness inside, like water under a berg. I wanted another one to stand, wanted another one to swing at me, invite me to erupt.”(pg.175) All of this anger inside of him leads him to think stuff like, is being indian a bad thing? Which brings me to my next point loss of identity. There was several factors which brought Saul father from finding his true identity, being abused and assimilated at residential schools, move with people that have been assimilated by residential schools and moving to a team who judged him for being native. Although, Sauls indian identity was still present, the anger inside of him is making that seem lost. In residential schools they renamed the children biblical names, this symbolized taking their native identity away. “I gave them nothing back because all I knew was the vast amount they had taken from me, robbed me of, cheated me out of, all in the name of a God whose son bore the long hair none of us were allowed to wear any more.” When he played with the moose and lived with that family it must have difficult for him to be around other people with similar horrible experiences as him.