Personal Narrative Tragic Memory

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I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, kick, and just I don't know. How could he think what he was telling me was ok? Was I supposed to understand, or accept it? My mind battled with my heart and I couldn't hold back what felt like millions of tears. He and I both knew mami hated tears or maybe it was just mine. She felt like I want strong enough to be the oldest and that Dasia should be the oldest. My daddy would tell me “leek you are meant to be the oldest you're going to be the one that keeps this family together I just know you are”. Well I felt like I had failed there wasn't no more family in my eyes, and I didn't want to be apart of the the little family that was left.

After he had closed the door he hugged me for a good while. He didn't say anything and neither did I just kept silently sobbing. I didn't want daddy feeling bad either ,so I tried to toughen up but before I could I felt a drop of what I thought was water on my neck. Was my daddy crying with me?

Yes he was and I was perfectly fine with that. I heard a horn honk I knew it was auntie Betty. At a young age I learned to out other people first, to be considerate, and always be sweet. I knew my daddy wasn't happy and I neither was mami so I had to put put my feeling on the back burner and be a big girl. Through all that my daddy still said “don't stop loving your mami that's all she's ever wanted from you baby you gotta help her now” after that he went down the stairs and he got in that red car. I waved bye, and he said”it's never bye it's see you later” and winked. Later. I wondered how long later really was. I listened to every word he said to me but I still wish I could forget this ever happened. After that the house was quite, Mami had been been in her room with the door closed and Dada and jr were in their rooms too. I guess when daddy came to kiss them good bye they thought he was joking around as always, but he wasn't and they knew it. I knew too when i seen jrs two year old face pressed against the cold living room window. Was i supposed to tell them? Was it up to me to explain? Should I lie to protect them like mami and daddy do? Or, do I be honest with them and tell them what really happened? All while I was pondering my brain Dasia and jr hugged me and asked “ you okay Leek” they were putting their feelings aside and considering me.