Common Culture

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that made me feel like an outsider as if I didn’t belong there.

But that was only one family, I’m sure there are better people that aren’t from the Pomo tribe or Native Americans. I walked through the crowded casino not seeing a change in behavior. People did not respect each other or their elders, had no type of manners, or a sacred object or dance it seemed as if there was no culture. I began to feel bad for these people for not having respect for one another but then I saw a family that stood out to me. Their children respected their elders like in my tribe. The oldest daughter stood up and walked towards me, I guess she noticed I was staring. The only thing I remember her say was that her mother just lost her grandfather and this casino was the place he came before he died. She said that she wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t for her mother, she respects her mother enough to come to a casino filled with drunks and cigarettes because she didn’t want to rip her mother’s heart out for not doing so.

At that moment I realized the horrible mistake I did, I soon remembered moments my mom was there for me. Like the time I came home from school with a bruise on my cheek and my clothes torn by the kids older than me and I realized that I ripped my mother’s heart out. I ran out of the casino full of regret and guilt. Outside it was completely dark, no moon was out that night the only light source I had was the Golden Indian. I ran as fast as I could, my chest felt heavy and my heart was racing. It seemed as if I was running to nowhere I could not even see my own hand in the darkness. But somehow I just knew where home was. In the distance I could see my house, I ran even faster my feet felt heavy and I thought I couldn’t take another step, but I pushed myself. I climbed up the three steps with joy and I could already feel the warmth of my mother. I knocked on the door and I heard my mother’s soothing voice telling me to come in. As I stepped in it felt as if I shed a layer of negativity, I felt as if my life was illuminated. With little breath I had I mumbled “forgive me mother.”