Living in Fear
Autor: Maryam • January 13, 2018 • 925 Words (4 Pages) • 618 Views
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just be normal and “uncomplicated” like everyone else. The problem with anxiety, though, is that it doesn’t just go away. Something can retrigger it and make it worse than ever.
That is exactly what happened to me after a few months of little to no anxiety. My anxiety recently has become so bad that even my roommate knocking too loudly on my bedroom door can cause me to have a panic attack. Going to parties or events has become a panic-inducing nightmare. In fact, the last time I went to a party, I spent the first hour drinking water in the corner of the bar and avoiding human interaction. I‘ve even stopped listening to the news as it is often too upsetting to hear about all the awful things happening in the world. I spend most days carefully filtering the information and media that I consume so as to avoid stumbling upon potentially triggering stories. I still have panic attacks at least once a week. I live my life in a constant state of fear, where even the most harmless things startle and frighten me. It is an ongoing nightmare with no quick or easy solution.
I wish I could say that I’ve finally figured it out and I’m fixed, but the truth is, I’m not. Anxiety is something that I constantly struggle with, and will continue to do so. In “Looking for Work,” Soto recalls wanting to look and act more like the majority so that he and his family are less ostracized (Soto 25). I too wish that I could be more like everyone else, all those “normal” people. The truth is, though, I wouldn’t be who I am today without having dealt with all of this. Anxiety has made its way inexorably into my life and deeply affected who I am. It has certainly made my life harder in many ways, but it has also taught me that I am capable of overcoming and coping with incredibly challenging situations. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be “normal,” but for now, that’s okay.
Works Cited
Soto, Gary. "Looking for Work." Rereading America. Ed. Gary Colombo,
Robert Cullen, Bonnie Lisle. Boston/New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s,
2013. 22-26. Print.
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