Parenting Styles

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The Veterans class/support group will focus on numerous topics in which many Veterans struggle. Topics such as I miss war, finding purpose, trust, anger, rage, suicide, PTSD, anxiety, sexual dysfunction, guilt, and forgiveness will be discussed. To the Veteran, ONABT says, “You’re home. You may have PTSD, you may not. You are just expected to pick up the pieces of combat and “drive on,” but it is not that easy. Life after combat is not easy, especially when the war will not go away. Here at ONABT, we understand that the Homefront can be the hardest battle to conquer. It can leave you angry, sad, disappointed, numb, and with a lot of questions. Where do you even begin? You’re not alone, let’s find out together.”

The spouses of these Veterans are all too often confused, angry, frustrated, and have a hard time when there is no one around them that understands. This can lead to isolation and depression. Topics such as what combat does to a person, what your combat Veteran wants you to know, finding your voice, you matter too, sexual dysfunction, SPTSD, friendships, pain, dish breaking, and acceptance. The men and women who support our Soldiers/Veterans are often referred to as “The Silent Ranks”. They are the voiceless pillars of strength behind the heroes. ONABT wants the spouses to know, “ONABT gives you a safe place to talk about the struggles of caring for a Veteran. Let’s stand together, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder and tell our stories. The Silent Ranks will be silent no more.”

Children are resilient, but what happens when war comes home? Children too, feel the stress and this can lead to behavioral problems. ONABT provides a positive distraction by allowing them to share their story with other children. Topics such as: grief, sadness, feeling alone, when mom/dad comes back a different person, we serve too, and resilience. To the little (or not so little) ones behind the Veteran, “We know you feel alone sometimes. Fear not little one, you are never alone.”

There are over 1.1 million post 9/11 Veteran caregivers and more times than not, it is the Veteran’s spouse that is the caregiver (Ramchand, et al., 2014). Unfortunately, there are no support resources for caregivers within a 100-mile radius of Fort Wayne. Less than half of the post 9/11 caregivers have a support system, many provide over 40 hours of care for their Veteran. This care includes dispensing medication, giving emotional support, making appointments, and much more, often while attempting to juggle a job, a family, and school. The emotional toll on these caregivers can be life-shattering. Not only will ONABT provide them with a support group, the program will step along side of them offering respite care. Respite care is vital to the mental health of the caregiver, as well as the Veteran. Supporting the supporters can create a resilient caregiver and allow them to have a break. Through ONABT, these caregivers will be able to connect with other caregivers. When a spouse has someone else who knows what this daily battle is like, it can ease the feelings of isolation. Research shows, a caregiver frequently has a lower quality of life than the wounded Veteran (Rees, O'Boyle, & MacDonagh, 2001). Though they may both feel broken, with a support group, they can be broken… together. To the caregiver, “You are not hidden but seen. We see you and we are here. It is time to take care of you.”

Raising Awareness. The Iraq war started on the 20th of March, in 2003. To date, approximately 96,000 Veterans have ended their lives, meaning that suicide is the Military’s leading cause of death. Here at home, the battlefield looks much different from the Iraqi desert or shrubs of Afghanistan. Connecting with Veterans and their families, offering prayer, encouragement, and spiritual growth can help families process their feelings toward their situation and spiritually grow (Military Family Research Institute at Perdue University, 2012). The culture of the Military promotes inner strength and there is a stigma that produces a hesitancy to share their story or to seek help (Burnam, Meredith, Tanielian, & Jaycox, 2009). More Soldiers/Veterans complete suicide in a year than have been killed in combat. Most individuals believe, once the Soldier leaves the combat zone, their battle is over. The reality is the deadliest combat zone is right here at home.

ONABT will identify members of the congregation and community who may benefit from this program. Supporting Veterans provides many ways to demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ, and strengthen ones faith. Few things are as meaningful as a listening ear or knowing someone else is praying. ONABT hopes to strengthen Veteran families, combat the war on Veteran suicide, and support the supporters by raising awareness. With ties to the media, this will make awareness much easier.

Fundraising. Once a year, usually the Sunday before Veterans Day, ONABT will create a slideshow, honoring the Veterans of the Pine Hills community. Though there are few projected expenses of ONABT, this video will also be used to raise funds to financially support the ministry while raising awareness Conclusion. ONABT will provide a safe place for Veterans, caregivers, spouses, and children to fellowship, exchange experiences, provide empathy, and encouragement. As a Military child, Veteran, and Wounded Veteran caregiver, all I have ever wanted to hear when I ask, “have you ever…” is me too. I want someone who understands and reply, “Me too, let me sit with you… we will be broken together”. This ministry, ONABT, will honor these brave men and women by giving them the voice they so desperately need by allowing them to share their stories. The goal of ONABT is two-fold. First and foremost, ensuring the Veteran knows they are not alone, connecting them with another Veteran so they may comfortably express their emotions and experiences, and keep them from becoming one of the 22 daily Veteran suicides. Next, assisting the Veteran’s family by offering a support group for spouses and children. Supporting the supporters is vital to the overall health of the Veteran. Many spouses of Veterans are forced to put their lives on hold to care for their Veteran. This can be emotionally taxing and overwhelming as they are ensuring the physical, mental and emotional safety of their spouse. Nurturing community support of our Veterans and their families is necessary to their stability, if the community is devoted to supporting these Veterans, their lives will be more successful (Dwyer, 2013). Ultimately, the long-term goal is to lead the Veteran and their family to a relationship with Jesus Christ. ONABT will accomplish just that.

References

Affairs, V. (2013, 02 01). About the