Narrative Essay

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All of a sudden, he did nothing but looked straight into my eyes.

All of a sudden, the harmonious melody of Lost Stars stopped by the lyric “Are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark”.

Time stood still.

What a long day I have just had!

At this point of time of the year, the patients come to meet me quite more often. I hardly find myself having enough time to have a dinner with Samantha, which may upset my dear fiancé. She has been stressed out so much in looking for a “living up to standards” venue for our wedding.

Spending the last hour of the day dipping myself in bath, I suddenly think of Samantha and the very first day when we met each other.

Four years after my graduation, I myself opened a private office while learning for PhD in therapy. It was in downtown San Jose, where I was born and have been my whole life. I love everything single little thing about it. The weather, the people, they are irreplaceably important parts of my life from which I would never want to be separated.

Taking a sip over my cup of cappuccino, I glanced over the schedule of the day and stopped by the first client of the day. Her appointment had been booked by a friend of her, with detailed description about her fear of love accompanied. I had encountered so many customers who faced that same old problem, which is the fear of intimacy, so it to me might have been just another ordinary meeting, no more, no less.

As usual, I chose Beethoven as it helped relax and relieve my patients. And she walked into my office.

Elegant and poise in her blouse and pencil shirt, the smell of perfume may have allured any men standing next to her. Her wavy blond hair loosely streamed over her oval face and shoulders. There was little something about her tender gesture that I could not explain, even up until now. She was just simply beautiful.

Above all, it felt like I had already met her somehow, somewhere in the middle of this world.

I started raising questions about her previous loves. Reflecting the recent relationships has always been the best way of figuring out the root of fear of intimacy. The fear of intimacy isn’t a problem without a solution, but finding a solution means identifying that there is a problem. That was the reason why I was constantly coming up with many questions for Samantha. The more she shared, the clearer the sadness in her eyes that I could see. She had a pure soul and a wholeheartedly loving personality, but the fact that she had been through too much pain and sorrows in love made her particularly confused, exhausted and doubtful. Much as she seemed so independently strong, deep inside her I could see a fragile woman who was graving for love but too fearful to engage herself into any relationships.

By listening to her stories, I found myself. Back to the time when I had been in college, I had given both my love and my faith away to a girl who would never have fallen in love with me. The desperation had come every single time I had closed my eyes, and it has still been haunting me once in a while.

“Don’t I deserve to have a love like thousands of people out there?” she suddenly burst out and asked.

I exactly knew what to do and say as I had encountered a lot of cases like her, but all of a sudden, I was at a loss of words. I looked deep into her eyes for pretty a while, doing nothing. It was the strangest feeling that I had ever felt. No explanation may satisfy me for such unordinary reaction.

“Are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark”, the melody was on and harmonized with our heartbeats.

And in that very moment, I knew that I had fallen for her, my Samantha.