The Parental Struggle in Things Fall Apart

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believes Ikemefuna is a promising and hard-working young boy. However, despite this attraction that Okonkwo has his fear of being perceived as cowardly takes over again when he voluntarily participates in the murder of Ikemefuna.

Okonkwo’s fear and rash decision to participate in the act of execution leaves him virtually alienated by his son Nwoye. This is when Okonkwo turns to his daughter, Ezinma. Okonkwo values her masculine qualities and developed a deep rooted relationship with her. Ezinma grows to understand her father on a personal level and because of this bond Okonkwo begins to see her as an equal. This way of him perceiving her is rare in a culture where women are thought of as men’s property. However, Okonkwo still wishes that Ezinma was born a boy because in their society men are looked upon much higher than women. “If Ezinma had been a boy I would have been happier. She has the right spirit” (66).

Throughout the duration of Things Fall Apart Okonkwo struggles when he continually gets caught up in the perception of his children. It could be said that because he continuously insists that his children make a good name for themselves that his children want to do just the opposite. They were not nurtured for who they were and that is why after they grew up they held onto a lot of resentment for their father. For example, Ezinma who was Okonkwo’s favorite even strays from her path of masculinity and ends up marrying and living a traditional Umuofian lifestyle. Every child yearns to be felt accepted for who they are by their parents, and if they are not they are not they will grow into who they want to be regardless of their parent’s opinion.