The Psychological Effects That Can Occur in Adopted Children

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Adopted Children’s Point of View

Every adopted child’s story is unique and different. Adopted children have different views on the psychological issues that can occur. For every adopted child it depends on the experience they have with their family and the age they were adopted. Most adopted children feel some sort of disassociation within their family. Majority of adopted children feel this way because of the lack of physical resemblance they share with their parents and siblings. Most adoptees grow to adulthood never having laid eyes on or touched a blood relative. So in addition to the actual body experience of loss, adoptees experience a tremendous break in connection with their personal past (Caffrey, 2011). The level of psychological affect on adopted children is directly linked to the environment they grow up in and the type of affection they receive from their parents.

Every child who has been adopted suffers from some type of psychological issue. Some issues may be minor and play a small part in the child’s life and some issues play a major part, which affect that child’s life negatively. From personal experience, I have seen how adoption affects both child and parent. How parents handle the child’s questions about adoption and the openness of the adoptive parents to talk about the child’s past, affects the child in a positive way. Children who can openly talk about their feelings of loss and other issues can express them freely without feelings of judgment.

I recently interviewed Meghan Sullivan, who was adopted at two years old form Maldova, a small country in Eastern Europe between Romania and Ukraine. Meghan is currently eighteen years old and attends Wayne State University. When she arrived in America, she was welcomed with open arms. She grew up with two older brothers and a sister who love her and care for her. Her parents are very supportive with all of the decisions she has made in her life and continue to her support her and her future endeavors. As Meghan grew up her family loved her and cared for her deeply. She knew about her adoption, which made it easy for her to talk to her parents when she had questions about her adoption story. They were able to answer questions she had as well as show her videos and pictures of her when she lived at an orphanage. Meghan was fortunate to look at a part of life that she could not remember. She wonders little about her birth parents but is curious about their physical appearance. When she is compared to her family she wonders about the physical characteristics she shares with her adoptive parents. As I have stated before, adopted children will struggle with the realization of the physical barrier they have with their parents and family. Adopted children, such as Meghan, have different opinions about how adoption may affect children. She believes that psychological issues occur because of the environment a child is brought into. Meghan also understands that she is fortunate to live the life she was given. She is thankful that she was brought into a family who fully supports her as well as receiving the same love that her brothers and sisters receive.

Conclusion

Understanding adoption is not enough to understand the full affects it has on children. No matter what age a child is adopted they sustain psychological affects that last through their lifetime. Not all of these issues affect adoptees to the same extent. Some may spend a lifetime dwelling on it; others may not even appear to notice (Rummig, 1996). Every adopted child has to go through different feelings and emotions at a young age. There are different ways to resolve issues of loss and abandonment with adopted children. When children come together and can share their adoption stories they create a safe community. Creating a community of adopted children and families gives a place to talk about their shared feelings and thoughts. Together, these children can feel acceptance from their family and newfound peers. Coming from China, I was enrolled in a group with other adopted children from China. The group met once a month to let the children interact and get to know each other. As we all got older the group met less and less, unfortunately the group no longer set monthly meetings. I know from experience that keeping a group of children around you that have the same background as you do will enhance the child’s personality and let that child become their own person freely. When children grow older they began to notice the psychological affects they carry with them. Creating an adoptive community when children are older will help them more emotionally as well as psychologically. Adopted children may also confide in counselors who will help them psychologically with their feelings that they hold about their adoption. Adoption has always been seen in a positive light. It gives children a better chance in life with new opportunities and ventures. Yet, those who have been adopted see the harsh reality. When growing up they realize that a small but important part of their life is missing. There are many instances in growing up when they are again faced with the knowledge that they are different, when asked about family history by a doctor, when asked about ethnic background, in regular day to day conversations (Rummig, 1996). They began to feel different from their family and develop feelings of abandonment. A positive and supporting environment at a young age will help adopted children to be confident in themselves as well as having the feeling of acceptance. Adoption needs to be brought to the attention of individuals and needs to be recognized in our society as something more than a positive result.

References

Rummin, V.M. (1996) Adoption: Trauma that last a lifetime. Retrieved from

http://www.vsn.org/trauma.html

Caffrey, K. (2011). Adoptees and silent realities. Retrieved from

http://www.karencaffrey.com/2010/11/adoptees-and-silent-realities/

Smit, E.M. (2002), Adopted children: Core issues and unique challenges. Journal of

Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 15: 143-150. doi: 10.1111/j.1744-

6171.2002.tb00389.x

Wegar, K. (2000), Adoption family, ideology, and social sigma: bias in community

attitudes, adoption research, and practive. Family Relations, 49: 363-369. doi:

10.1111/j.1741-3729.2000.00363.x