The Day in Church

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being happy.

I eventually isolated myself away from everyone and suddenly I was used to being by myself. My room was my safe place and my friends and family would visit every so often to make sure I was doing ok. My Pastor came in one morning to pray with me since I haven’t been going to church for the past weeks. It was about an hour session but the one thing I remember him saying was, “God has a plan for you and your family; the hurt he brought to your family is all a part of his plan.” He eventually left and I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. I watched him leave while I took his words for granted. The following night I had a sudden flashback of when I went to church with my Grandma on Easter Sunday. She wore a long, yellow dress with white heels and bright red lipstick. We had so much fun and she snuck me a couple of Easter eggs filled with candy. The church service that day was long but I was content with my life. Everything the Pastor preached that day was powerful and could impact people who aren’t even Christian. He told us a story about his wife and how she had a miscarriage on their first baby. I can’t even imagine the hurt his family felt but the fact that he still had faith surprised me. How could you have so much faith in someone when they’ve brought so much hurt

into your life? It brought me back to what he said earlier, “God has a plan for you and your family; the hurt he brought to your family is all a part of his plan.” Then It finally hit me, I wouldn’t be able to live my life with any piece of happiness unless I restored my faith in God. My pastor was right, God has a bigger, better plan for my family and I just need to believe in him. He was testing my faith and I failed. I can’t take back losing my faith in God and hope for myself but I believe he has it in his heart to forgive.