Tale of Genji

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the husband who leaves in the morning and comes home at night, and who can hardly turn to strangers to chat about how so-and-so is getting on in public or private or about whatever, good or bad, may have happened to strike him and is entitled to expect some understanding from the woman who shares his life, finds instead, when he feels like discussing with her the things that have made him laugh or cry, or perhaps have inflamed him with righteous indignation and are now demanding an outlet, that all he can do is avert his eyes, and that when then betrays private mirth or he heaves a sad sigh, she just looks up at him blankly and asks, "What is it, dear?’ How could he not wish himself elsewhere?” (25) He even goes on to say that, it is mostly the woman fault when the husband seeks comfort elsewhere. Even if the husband is seeing another woman, he states that it is futile for her to quarrel with him. If she is in fact angry, she should discreetly hint rather than directly telling the husband. In addition, a wife who is too permissive of her husband’s affairs is bound to lose his respect.

In the novel, the reader gets a glimpse of the various types of relationship between the men and women of the Heian court. On the other side, outside of marriage, Heian aristocratic men may engage in various affairs. One of the most essential aspects of these affairs is the letters and poems that are exchanged between the couple. After their first night together, the man would usually leave a poem behind and if he did not receive a reply the next day, it usually meant that the woman is not interested.

In conclusion, I guess you could say the Heian period sucked for girls. It was patriarchal period and the “ideal woman” concept plays perfectly into showing the cultural, historical and social setting during that time period where men and woman are treated very differently. Woman in the Hei