Reflection Paper Conflict Management

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Active Listening

The Nun with the Devilish Grin was quite a bit of fun. Some of the participants didn’t care for the direction the story went. But I enjoyed that so many jumped on board with the Devil’s spawn. It was fun to write the story of the argument of Maureen and Felipe. I think I was able to incorporate many aspects of active listening into the story and dialogue. This included setting the stage to reading body language. Some steps involved with active listening are setting the stage for open communication, setting ground rules for respectful discussions, defining a goal and paying attention to body language as the discussion flows. Most people want to a good job and want to get along with their fellow employees. The disputes or disagreements can be helped along with tuning in and turning on our active listening skills. Establishing goals that all parties can work towards I found to be a very important aspect of active listening. If everyone knows and understands what the hope is for the end result, they will feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel as they make progress. It is also important for all the information to be out in the open. Outside factors need to be respected as well as work related factors. The neutral party will need to get all the background information before approaching a resolution. This includes having meetings and arrangements during working hours.

Argument

I can say I struggle the most with this section of the class. I understand arguments and how they can get out of control. But to actually define the type of argument was difficult. My reflection on arguments will always include an escape plan, whether it be for myself or for the other party involved. I really go back to the time when my department was between supervisors. I think I handled it very poorly at the time. I did not get everyone involved in the beginning of the changes that were going to take place. I think some of my co-workers thought there was a conspiracy going on or that they weren’t doing their jobs correctly. The realignment was intended to give us a better functioning group not for personal attacks. Even though I was the most senior and knew all the functions and quirks of each area, I should have been more open to other people’s ideas. Or at the very least allowed them a chance to give their ideas. This would have been a much more favorable outcome of the situation. The type and category of the argument still eludes me. One thing I notice works well when trying to make changes without ruffling too many feathers, is to set up a game plan. Depending on the type of person you are trying to settle an argument with, sometimes it is better to plant seeds along the way, so that in the end they think it is their idea to begin with.

Analyzing Conflict

There are particular steps that can be taken to analyze a conflict. The manager or the neutral party should have a goal of resolving a conflict through the management of the conflict. Part of the initial discussion would be to find out what each of them have done to try and work through it themselves, this will same time during follow up meetings. There is no reason to suggest an idea that they may have already tried. Reasons need to be identified to start the process rolling. The manager needs to find out what led to the conflict and what is making it difficult for the parties to work through it. Destructive conflict in the workplace can ruin productivity and bring down the morale of the entire department. The manager will need to find out what has occurred with the parties involved and decide if a resolution is going to be possible with help. He or she will also want to know if the conflicting parties have reached an “agree to disagree” and walk away part of the conflict. If they have not then it is time to look at some of the factors that could be causing the issue. Are they having a personality clash, are they both trying to be in charge of the situation, are they trying to put forth their own opinion without any collaboration? The factors involving 2 people in a conflict can stretch as long as your arm. It is up to the manager or the neutral to filter through all the information and determine the root cause.

Working through Conflict

When parties are working through a conflict it is important not to immediately jump to the point of asking for help. It is also important not to wait too long to ask for help. I know in the conflict I used for this discussion I waiting too long to ask for help. It is easier to see looking back during that time that I was embarrassed that this was happening. I have always been able to get along with people I work with and people I work for. One of the things that also caused this to go on for so long was that I didn’t know my boss had so many complaints about me. I am not saying I have liked every other supervisor, but I have always been able to have a good working relationship with them. Some of the questions to ask each other are what are the expectations of asking for help, would either party expect to be removed? When our conflict went so far as the meeting with the HR department, I did expect to get moved or to get fired. I was at the end of a long haul and I think I was ready for either outcome. This conflict brought unwanted attention to our department and I am sure it affected everyone in the department. From my perspective, and according to my supervisor, my co-workers did not want to work with me. This goes back to changing the assignments conflict. I understand now that I handled that situation poorly.

The Communication Process

One thing I start off doing when thinking about communicating with someone, whether it will be a conflict or just a random conversation, is to play out the scenarios in my head. Sometimes I will even talk to myself in the mirror and try to see what visual ques I am giving to the other person. One of the things I am learning in this class is to bring up issues as they happen. I had a conversation with my boss recently about new things he is giving me to do at work. It started as a normal “you are doing a good job”. Based on this I expected to be given items that would engage my mental abilities more. I did tell him I appreciate the assignments. There were conversations prior to this and I am sure neither of us were using any active listening skills. Since working on my communication skills I have approached him again and explained the differences of being busy and bored versus being busy and engaged. Hopefully we are on the same page now. As I typed that I realized that I did not communicate effectively again. I should