Relationship Advice Critique

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I personally refuse to accept the advice given by Hill (2013). Too often is the viewing of pornography accepted in relationships. Degrading sexual acts are now considered normative in society and women have a pressured sense to fulfill their partner’s sexual desires. By Hill (2013) suggesting to watch pornography, he is completely dismissing the fact that women feel sexually undesirable (Stewart & Szymanski, 2012). Due to the perfectionistic perceptions women have about the females they see on screen, it should come by no surprise why they feel inadequate knowing their partner prefers to engage in pornographic activity.

This paper has made me consider my true feelings if my partner were to engage in the viewing of excessive pornography. I have considered the advice presented by Hill (2013) and the evidence supported by Stewart et al. (2012) and I strongly believe pornography creates an unrealistic sense of reality and expectations for couples. I acknowledge the advice of watching pornography together to enhance sexual arousal or overall relationship satisfaction however I strongly feel there is the potential for damaging psychological effects.

From this paper I will restate my claim that pornographic viewing within a relationship is not beneficial as suggested by Hill (2013). I do acknowledge its potential to enhance sexual pleasures, but I have a strong belief the negative outcomes of this habit certainly outweigh the alleged benefits. I personally feel that a partner’s pornographic viewing habits devalues a relationship initiating a threat and leading to distrust and a sense of insecurity. I believe feelings of unstable self - worth in a relationship is a precursor to conflict and ultimately the termination of a relationship. Successful relationships are built upon mutual trust and caring for one another (Neustifer, 2015a), if a partner is uncomfortable with something they should not be forced to engage in an activity, especially an activity as repulsive as pornography.

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References

Daneback, K., Træen, B., & Månsson, S. (2009). Use of pornography in a random sample of

Norwegian heterosexual couples. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 38(5), 746-753. doi:

10.1007/s10508-008-9314-4

Hill, L. (2013, December 20). My boyfriend’s porn makes me feel inadequate. Cosmopolitan. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/my- boyfriend-porn-makes-

me-feel-inadequate

Neustifer, R. (2015). Theories about Love. [Powerpoint slides]. Retrieved from

https://courselink.uoguelph.ca/d2l/le/content/330434/viewContent/1090053/View

Olmstead, S., Negash, S., Pasley, K., & Fincham, F. (2013). Emerging adults’ expectations for

pornography use in the context of future committed romantic relationships: A qualitative

study. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42(4), 625-635. doi:10.1007/s10508-012-9986-7

Stewart, D., & Szymanski, D. (2012). Young adult Women’s reports of their male romantic

Partner’s pornography use as a correlate of their self-esteem, relationship quality, and

sexual satisfaction. Sex Roles, 67(5-6), 257-271. doi:10.1007/s11199-012-0164-0

White, J. M., Martin, T. E., & Bartolic, S. K. (2013). Families across the life course. Toronto,

ON: Pearson Education Canada.