Parents Divorse - Cause and Effect on Child

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My parents’ divorce also had a lasting effect on my father and my’s relationship. Throughout all of the treatment centers and counseling he attended, he was never able to maintain long term sobriety. In order for me and my father to have any type of relationship, I believe he has to be sober and have a clear state of mind. I have been living in California now for 15 years and have seen him only twice. Both times I went back to Washington D.C. for some type of family event, and his presence was sporadic and unpredictable. I have been able to come to terms with the reality that until he takes the necessary steps to get his own life in order, he will not be able to give me the type of relationship I want and expect from him. This tumultuous relationship has unfortunately resulted in me having trust issues with men. How am I supposed to understand what a healthy male/female relationship is supposed to look like if all I have seen is the dysfunction between my father and mother? This area of life is very difficult for me to deal with. With the help of my therapist and other positive role models in my life, I am able to work towards better relationships with men and resolve some of the trust issues that I have.

I look back on my childhood and can only imagine how strong my mother had to have been for making it through such stressful times with my father. I admire her decision to divorce him, knowing that it would be a long and difficult journey afterwards. I have been able to move on from my crazy, rebellious ways as a teenager and create wonderful relationships with successful people, maintain a professional job and attend school regularly. My opinion of divorce has not changed over the years. I believe it is a tool that should be used when a marriage is no longer working and that was definitely the case with my parents.