Freneau and Bryant's Connections.

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Freneau, Philip. The Wild Honey SuckleQuotations instead. The American Tradition in Literature. Ed. George and Barbara Perkins. 11th ed. Vol.1. New York: McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 2007. (460-461)Punctuation. Print.

Marie,

Clearly, you understand the points of both poems. Each is discussed using appropriate items. But throughout, the connection between the two poems is not at the forefront of the argument. Only the final body paragraph has a topic sentence that guides the reader in this direction. The other two paragraphs begin with an example from one of the two poems, and the thesis is missing. Without those elements, the reader is left to decipher the essay's purpose on his own. Finally, there are issues with grammar and formatting.

Grade: D+

1. Also the thesis listed here should actually appear in the essay, most likely at the end of the introduction.

2. This final sentence seems out of place here. Is it perhaps a sentence that would better support a point within a body paragraph?

3. What is the point of this essay? Without a thesis, the reader doesn't know that this will be a literary essay that will compare/contrast these two writings based on how they reflect Romanticism.

4. Freneau does not compare the narrator. The narrator is speaking in the poem.

5. some what?

6. This paragraph tells about each poem, but the connection between them is not made clear through direct analysis of the two together, nor in a topic sentence.

7. This is the first time the reader is made aware of comparison/contrast.

8. contrast to

9. about

10. The conclusion repeats the points made in the previous paragraph.

Instances

Annotation

Explanation

2

???

Incomprehensible text

1

Capitalization

Capitalization error

1

No contractions

Avoid contractions in formal writing.

1

Cut

Cut -- this text is not necessary

1

Delete line

Delete extra lines.

1

Fragment

Sentence fragment

1

Inc. Line Spacing

Check line spacing settings. Be sure that "before" and "after" under paragraph (in format) are set to zero.

1

Mixed con.

Mixed construction: two different kinds of sentences incorrectly joined together, creating a fragment.

8

not MLA

Review MLA Sample for proper format.

1

Lettering/Numbering

Incorrect lettering/numbering system used. Review MLA format examples for the outline.

1

Incorrect page numbering

First text page should be 1. Every page following should increase in number.

1

Sing/Plu

Singular/plural error

1

Poetry lines need punc.

Lines of poetry used in text should be separated using a slash. Four or more lines of poetry should be blocked.

2

Preposition

Wrong or misused preposition

1

Pro. Agr.

This pronoun does not agree with its antecedent.

2

Punctuation

Punctuation

1

Intro. quotes

Quotations should be properly introduced or woven into the argument. See the information on Bb regarding quoting and paraphrasing.

2

Redundant

This repeats information in different wording.

2

Quotations instead

Short stories, essays, poems, and song titles should appear in quotations instead of italics.

1

Spl

Spelling

2

Thesis needed

A thesis is a single, concise sentence that will control the essay as a whole.

2

Topic sent. needed

A topic sentence is needed for this paragraph. The current sentence does not properly control the paragraph by giving the topic of the paragraph in relation to the thesis. In a literary essay, the topic sentence must address all of the characters discussed in that paragraph or refer to them in a general