The Battlefield

...

“You’re okay now?” asked Stephen looking at me as if he was disappointed.

“What? Of course, I’m happy” I replied. But he hurriedly gathered his things and left, leaving his best friend inside the room.

“What’s your problem?” I said as I ran towards him. He walked too fast. He stopped and looked at me.

“Nothing.” He said and continued to walk, this time his usual walk.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m…okay.” he answered.

“Mood swings huh?” I said while we’re on our way to the canteen.

“Perhaps” he said.

We have reached the canteen and started to eat. He’s okay now. He was the one who started the conversation. After a while, I stopped eating. I feel full.

“Water and a piece of biscuit made your stomach full? Are you kidding?” he asked as he made an annoying stare.

I didn’t answer him but instead, I looked the group of girls at the counter who were skinny. I shrugged. Yes, I was overly concerned with my weight, conscious about the size of my waistline and went on to endless diets. I was powerless. I exhaled heavily because I just can’t do anything about it but to worry over and over again.

“Sophie, let me tell you something. You’re -”

“beautiful” I continued. I just rolled my eyes of what he said.

“You don’t really believe me?” he asked.

“Of course…yes. I don’t really believe you. You’re my friend. It’s too natural for you to say that. The truth is I’m ugly and clumsy and slow and gawky and-”

“Hey, you’re starting the drama. We still have quizzes. We can’t finish the drama today. Leave it for tomorrow. Is it okay?” he said while smiling and still touching my lips with his one finger. I motioned him his hand on my lips.

He smiled.

“Okay” I replied, smiling.

The whole day turned out to be good. I passed all my quizzes; a call for a celebration. Stephen and I, together with our classmates, have decided to eat at a restaurant. Some of my classmates at first hesitated to come. We may have spent our savings and allowances, but the moments we’ve shared were priceless.

I came home late and expectedly, my parents were asking multiple questions. For me, it’s okay. They’re asking why I’m late, the money I’m asking for requirements. For me, it’s really okay. The thing is, they won’t believe me. They won’t believe what I’m saying. Perhaps, they don’t really trust me and it’s a sad fact which saddens me every time.

I fell on my bed as usual, my best friend next to Stephen. My bed really loved me. I feel really comfortable and relax when I’m with my bed. I checked on my wrist watch, it’s quarter to eight o’clock in the evening. I washed my face and changed my clothes. I have to sleep before reading my notes for tomorrow to gain my energy.

“Kring, kring”, my alarm clock rings. I checked the time, it’s eleven o’clock in the evening. I stopped the alarm clock from ringing and continued to sleep thinking that I still have lots of time to review my notes for tomorrow.

“Sophie! Wake up!” my mother shouted.

“It’s already six thirty! You’ll be late if you’ll not stand there! Hurry up!” she continued.

I put on the palm of my hands on my face. I sighed heavily. “OMG!” I blurted out. I moved fast. It was 7:15 when I left the house.

In the jeep, many students were worried and like me, they keep on checking their watch. The highway was full and traffic was on alert! At the moment, I wanted to go down and run but I just can’t. My thoughts were heavier than the books I was holding. When the jeep reached our school, I run as fast as I can.

As I expected, I was late 10 minutes in our class. Nevertheless, my instructor still permitted me to come in. As usual, I knew my reason was invalid but still tried to tell it. And of course, it was invalid.

I walked through my chair as I passed by on many sarcastic eyes looking at me. I looked at them with a sarcastic smile. Our instructor started discussing. I feel so alive the whole period. This teacher really allows students to express their emotions in his class. It was just so relaxing. After the class, I thanked my instructor for permitting me to come inside.

My next class was situated near the library so I’ve thought of returning the book I’ve borrowed last week. After returning, I went on to our room. When I came in, everybody was reviewing their notes. I don’t remember that we’ll have our quiz for today in the subject.

“Steph, we’ll have a quiz?”

“Yes -” he replied.

I didn’t wait for him to continue his statement. My mind started to scatter, I can’t calm down myself. My thoughts twirled like a hurricane in my brain. I hate surprise quizzes. I hate reviewing in rush. This is just too miserable. Ah! It’s so unfair!

Just a little while longer, my instructor dictated the questions. After the quiz? What happened? I cried. And cried. And cried, a lot.

Thinking critically was tiring, plus the problems you’re facing, plus the many thoughts disturbing you? Ugh! I was worried that I can’t make it in the Dean’s list—and what people might say if I didn’t do it well academically? The pain was really excruciating. It’s already four o’clock in the afternoon and I’m still here, feeling I’m a failure.

I lay my forehead on my knee as the grass poke through the cement touching the heel of my shoes. I’m on the part of school where silence filled the air. I stared blankly ahead. My eyes were unflinching with the scenario a while ago. Suddenly, I heard a shriek of sound nearby. I stopped crying and tried to wipe my face but I just can’t find my handkerchief, when someone broke the silence of the place.

“Looking for this?” he asked.

I nodded. I was about to get it into his hand when he made me stop. He held my hand and